Who Are You To Decide it all?

While the school van dropped a kid off to his home I overheard some guys talking to each other. 'Oey! Ye bhi school jaata hai?' (Hey! Does he go to school too?) And the next guy replying 'Pata nahi isne madam ko kitna pagal kiya hua hoga'(I wonder how mad he must have driven his teacher). Not to mention, the kid we dropped is a mentally challenged child. After listening to this conversation I was left to wonder, who is the sane one there? The grown up guys who were mocking that little kid or that innocent child who was all smiling and going towards his home?

Looking at these kids, this question always comes in my mind; are these kids better or we, the so-called sane ones? I, personally, deal with these kids these days. What I discovered is that they are the most beautiful people around. You will always find them smiling. You look at them and smile and they will come hugging you. They don’t demand/desire for anything. They won’t bug you unnecessarily. You indulge them in an activity they are interested in and you can make them do it for hours. You just need to figure out their interests and trust me, they are the simplest.

Many people around ask me if these kids get violent or not? The answer is yes! They do. But, what I noticed is that they won’t ever hit you just like that. These kids generally are treated so badly that they get violent in self defence. They always expect you to hit them and to avoid that, they hit you beforehand. And that is not the usual case. That happens very rarely. You treat them nicely and they wouldn’t ever do that. They are so happy in their own good world that coming back to this real world becomes harsh for them. They will laugh, cry, jump around, talk to themselves and even pat their own back when they feel like. They are not the ones misfit here in this world; it’s us!

Handling special kids, of any sort, sure is a difficult task. It requires a lot of patience but a little extra effort can polish these gems into somebody we can never imagine. These kids do improve and move to the next level. Once we see the improvement they are sent to the slow learner group and then to the normal schools. And if not this all, the kid gets at least to a position where he can help himself. He can move around with the world. Isolating these kids is like a poison to the children and to the people around them too. Chaining them or not bringing them to the real world is the worst thing you can do to them. And if you think, these children should be killed once you come to know about their disabilities; you can’t get crueler.

It’s not easy, but, try treating these kids as normal ones with a little more care. They are much better than your usual spoilt brats. There is a rare chance that they will be mischievous. If you wish to see an improvement in mentally challenged children; you need to get to their level and break the shell they are confined to. Once you do it, you can make them do all. Just a little patience, forgetting all the stereotypical things about them, can do the magic.

You are no one to tag anybody as insane. You can never tell how much potential they have to achieve the impossible. These children strive harder than us all to live in this world. They bear with us all and can't even express how bad they feel. They already live a confused life, our harsh behaviours just make things worst for them. If you think they are retards; treat them like you are not one.

YOU CAN VIEW THE SIMILAR POST AT THE CAUSE BLOG

Don’t give up, Better Live Up

“I don’t care how a guy looks at me or treats me as I have lost my virginity already.” I was forced to look at her face after hearing this sentence and to my disbelief she looked not more than 20 year old. The more shocking about it was her story that how she was sexually harassed rather raped when she was 10. She was raped by her cousin who was in his teens back then, and it was not once. She was threatened to not tell it to anybody in the family. The cousin did it several times and she kept quiet as she knew nobody would believe her.

But then, one day, when she finally gathered courage to refuse him; she was beaten up by him severely. She decided to tell it to her mother, finally. At first, the mother accused her of making up stories but then when she saw the wounds on her body; she believed her. Even the mother was of no help to her. To save the girl from more disgrace in the family, she asked her to stay quiet. Mother only got more skeptical and took no serious action other than restricting her limited liberty. The girl grew up in a more conservative and over protective environment. All this only resulted in shaking up the girl’s personality from inside out.

Now, this was the story of a young girl who moved to a big city from a small village for her education. The bitter experiences of her childhood are affecting her independence badly. She talks to all the random guys she can, dates them and tells them every personal detail they want to know. And the worst part is that she is getting into it despite knowing the consequences.

Parents, after hearing such incidences, should never accuse kids of making up stories. Never trust anybody when it comes to your kids. Anybody and everybody can get down to this level and sexually abuse your child. Parents’ reaction after these incidences leaves an impact on children. Punish the abuser and not the victim. Restrict the mobility of that person abusing your child and not your own child. Ban the entry of such person without thinking about the consequences. Nothing and nobody can be more important than your child’s personality. Give your child full confidence and secure him/her.

What happened to this girl is nothing new. There are many girls around who get sexually harassed on the daily basis. But the way she, or the girls who face the similar situation, is reacting is worse than what has happened to her already. You have to accept it that what happened to you was not your fault. You just can’t give up and present yourself as a sex tool for men now. What happened to you in the past wasn’t your mistake but what you are doing today with your life is entirely a fault of yours. And most of all, what you are doing now is against all your moral, religious and social values. Don’t punish yourself for somebody else’ crimes.

It is hard to move on; but giving up is not a solution. Now that you are getting an opportunity to prove yourself; you need to do it. You just need to prove that you are a woman more capable of doing everything you want. You are more than an entity who can just be used just for one purpose. Look beyond your fears and identify your talents. Don’t ruin yourself over bad memories. Being cynical and giving up won’t give you anything. Just try forgetting the past and come up stronger. If you couldn’t help yourself in your childhood; grow up to be a strong woman capable of helping your future daughter. It’s hard moving on; but that’s the better choice. Don’t consider it the end of your life; take it as a new beginning.

SIMILAR POST WAS PUBLISHED AT THE CAUSE BLOG

The Curse of Child Servitude

A girl not more than ten years of age trying to lift quite a healthy kid up, who I am sure was heavier than her, to a ride. She loses her balance in an effort to do so. This was a scene I got to see at a famous fast food restaurant play area. Yes! That little girl was a servant to a big happy family. The parents sit alone and dine in while the servants babysit the mischievous kids. Babysitting of course includes feeding them, taking full care of them that they don’t get lost and also bearing with all their stubbornness.

Getting help of a servant is not bad at all, it’s just you should at least consider the age of a person before you hire him/her. How can you expect a kid, who herself/himself is not able to carry her/his own burden, to help you in a task you yourself can’t do alone? Think about your own kids for a while; what if they are made to do stuff you expect the little servants to do. You of course dread seeing that.

If women are too insecure of their female servants that they will steal away their husbands, they should be equally uncomfortable with their men sexually harassing these little servants. You cannot deny the fact that this happens a lot. Men should also take care of the fact that the servant they hire should be old enough to carry the burden of the work load they assign them.

Another excuse people give for child labor is that the children’s parents themselves bring the kids to them for this purpose. You cannot just blame them about it. You are equally at fault when you hire them than their parents or maybe more. If you are kind enough to help them, be sensible in doing so. Spend some money on their kids’ education and give them a better future. Getting them enrolled to a not-so-expensive school won’t be a tough job. You just will have to cut down your dine out routines a bit to help them.

People hire these little children not just as their domestic servants but also to their workplaces. One of the main reasons is that you get it cheap. Tea-stalls, workshops or any other place you see the kids working; it’s always the job tougher than they can bear. Worse is when the same little angels are made to do harsher jobs like molding bricks or making glass bangles. We should make an effort to bring a relief to these kids in some way. Even a change in our attitude or just a kind word can make a difference at times.

Just look at the kids who work at your houses or workplaces for a change and think about it; do they really deserve doing what they are? What if it was your kid instead of that poor soul? How do they feel, when they look at all those luxuries you provide your kids with, living at your house? I am sure you will feel bad. If you can’t do any good for them; stop doing bad. If you feel bad for them or their families; hiring them is not a solution. Walk in their shoes for a while and think of better ways to help them. Say no to child labor. It’s a crime, it’s a curse!


YOU CAN VIEW THE SIMILAR POST AT The Cause Blog

They Once Had It All

Living near a kachi abaadi (slums) these days makes me wonder at times. What are we? We have everything at one moment and we can be left with nothing at all the very next moment. I see the old, the young, the kids and the infants around in filthy clothes eating and drinking things which we can’t even look at. The quality of water we use in our washrooms or the type of diet we feed our pets with sure is better than the one they eat and drink. But the question is: do they have an option? They of course have none.

The people living in this kachi abaadi near our university have migrated from Afghanistan for the reasons we all know. They had to leave everything they had there and come here to save their lives. They might have dreamt of a better future before they left their country. But, unfortunately, the worst awaited them in Pakistan.

The most disturbing fact about these immigrants is our attitude towards them. The disgusted look we give them, the way we hold our breaths when we cross that area and the way we push their kids away when they accidently bump into us. We never thought about working for their rehabilitation. We never thought about educating their kids, never fed them proper food, never even thought about providing them even a portion of what we have. If we don’t do anything for them; we have no right to treat them the way we do.

The good thing I see in that area is the satisfaction. I smell some strange sort of cheerfulness in that area. They have no electricity, their kids either sleep hungry or beg for food and eat, they wear the filthiest of clothes, they live in those mud/tent houses or even worse in the worst of weather conditions, they don’t even have a hope for the better future; but I still see the contentment on their faces. They never are depressed like us. We have all but we are all depressed and they have almost nothing and they seem happy.

We (including me) not only need to help them monetarily and morally but also have to learn some great lessons from them. First thing, nothing to be proud of what we have; what we have today can be turned into dust in no time. Second, try being happy and content in what we have; that content feeling has more power than any material thing in this world. Just give it a try, I am sure, it will bring in a positive change in our lives.

THE ABOVE POST WAS ALSO PUBLISHED ON THE CAUSE BLOG

Pakistan Beyond Politics

So, news of the day is MQM enters Punjab. Majority of the people in Punjab despise the party and according to the social media; it was not welcomed in the province. Got to see many virtual fights, today, between the party supporters and the non-supporters which ended up in racist comments, abusing, swearing and what not.

MQM, no doubt, is the largest party with the heaviest mandate in Sindh but the fact is, apparently no matter what they do it will be hard for Punjabis to support them. Altaf Hussain and his policies are clearly not liked by the people in Punjab and it will be hard for him to get a decent place in the region. One thing that needs to be appreciated by the party is that they were allowed, by the government of Punjab, to stand in the province and gather these many people peacefully. When the fact is no other leader is allowed to go to the areas ruled by the MQM if they do not allow them. Like we saw what happened on 12^th may some years back. Same is the case with Imran Khan; not allowed to go to Sindh. MQM supports democracy but government of Punjab demonstrated the real democracy, today.

And now, keeping all the politics aside, what we all saw was the ultimate disunity among the people of the country. Other party supporters bashing MQM supporters like anything and vice versa. Why do we forget that country is beyond politics? People went from abusing to swearing at each other just to protect their political views. Have we forgotten what happened in 1971? Do we really need separate countries just because we speak different languages or live in different regions of the country?

Country is facing many problems. Apparently no other industry other than the telecom industry is flourishing in Pakistan. It’s time that we all forget the political differences all over and get one. This is the time that we burn all the political party flags and be one. If we want to get rid of these political goons; we need to stop going for the better in the lot. We all know all politicians are corrupt and Pakistan can only become a better country if we will be united and will only work for the betterment of the country.

Unity is what we need at the moment. If we have unity, we can achieve all. Forget who is Punjabi, Sindhi, Balochi, Pathan; just work for the country. We can do it. We did it some days back when Pakistan was playing the cricket worldcup. When the people got out of their houses, it was under one green flag. If we can do it for sports; why not for other issues.

P.S. The political facts stated above are my personal observations (mostly from social media) and are NOT based on real statistics.

You can view the similar post on Students of Pakistan

Our Attitude Towards Our 'Helpers'

Servants, nannies, cooks, gardeners, gate keepers etc., how do we treat them all? Do we really think they are humans and should be given an equal place like any other living person? A very common scene when we go out to eat in any restaurant is that a family sitting on a table enjoying their food,and somebody sitting alone on another table either having food or just babysitting the mischievous kids. Don’t you ever think how do they feel sitting on the next table feeding your kids? How would you feel if you are made to do this? Not at all good, I am sure.

Many people give an excuse that people like ‘these’ deserve it. God made them like this or it’s their own fault that they are illiterate. There sure is a percentage of people who don’t study themselves but then there are many who cannot afford the expenses of getting educated. The thing is God did give them what He wanted but then ordered US, the privileged ones, to take care of them. God asked us to give them a fair share of our income and that’s not just like that; it’s in return of the services they provide.

What is our general attitude towards the people who work for us? I have never heard a living person praising his/her servant. What we always hear or say is what he does NOT do. Never heard anybody saying my servant is really good, helps me a lot, comes on time etc. Worse than that is, whenever you find anything missing at your place; you always blame it on them. Why do we always think that the poor will always steal and do bad things? Why don’t we take them as normal human beings? Many of them are much more honest than their masters who sit in the comfort of their offices and bribe or do other things like that to earn more money.

Let us think for a second, what if all these people stop working for us. Will a

man who ridicules his servant be able to ‘make’ his wife do all the daily chores what his servant used to do for him? Or will a woman will want to stay home, give a pause to her kitty parties and do all the stuff? If you think of all the possible things you will HAVE to do once all these domestic servants give up on you, you sure will be thankful to them. Accept the fact that they are more like helpers to us all.

There sure is an international labour's day but did we ever realise who enjoys that international holiday? Its US, we are the ones who sit home on that day. We are the labour to somebody too, I agree, but then they are too. Shouldn't they be given a day off too? Most of us make them do more work than any other day because that's when you are home and can make them do it, yourself. They work harder than most of us. They deserve it more.

It’s not just that the servants are verbally humiliated; many domestic servants are, physically and sexually, abused too. It just does not happen in Asia, but everywhere. It is a very common practice in the Middle East that the servants are ‘imported’ from their countries and then kept in the countries forcefully. They are not allowed to go back unless their masters allow them. They are not only beaten up by the adults but by the little kids too. Some of the stories of the worst torturing come out but many go unnoticed.

There are many things we can do for them. First and the foremost is, STOP thinking they are any less than you. They are equally human as you are, or maybe more. After that, you can help them now and again financially. We all know what we pay them as their monthly salary does nothing much for them. We can get them new dresses on special occasions or just give them extra money so that they don’t feel less privileged. We can get their children married. We all say they are illiterate, but then who is to be blamed for that? We have money, we can get our children educated from any institute we want but they can’t. Most of us can finance their children’s education quite easily, but we don’t. Did you ever think why? Maybe because we think that the ‘servant’s kid’ will grow up one day to compete ‘our kid’? Why don’t we make our kids competent enough instead of snubbing others' children?

Do you think that the things or money you have today will remain with you forever? Is there any surety that it will? I don’t think there is any. The bread winner of the family who you are so proud of today can, God forbid, die or get paralyzed. Or if not that, floods, earthquakes or any other natural calamity can wash away all of it for you. You never know where that can take you. If we look around, we get to see many who, had everything yesterday, are forced to beg and steal today. Be careful when you degrade others, you can’t ever say when it can get it to you. There is no guarantee to anything. If you have everything today, you never know you end up with nothing at all tomorrow. Walk in their shoes a few miles to know how worst it hurts.

YOU CAN VIEW THE SIMILAR POST AT WRITING FOR A CAUSE

Enhance Creativity in Kids

The era we are living in is the era of competition. We all are striving hard to win, win some race that even we can’t figure out. If we think of it things always were like this. Humans are always after one another. We don’t really know why we want to win from our colleague, neighbor or a close relative; but we want to. We want to move ahead, reach to that level where nobody ever did. Children these days are under more pressure when compared to the people before. What parents couldn't achieve, they want their kids to accomplish. In this race for the fittest we never want our kids to waste their time to explore themselves.

Be it painting, drawing, sketching, composing beautiful musical notes, writing a soul touching poem or a prose; there is no living person who doesn't have the sense to create. It’s just that some talents need to be groomed and discovered and some ooze out of you automatically. Every baby is born with a talent. As he grows up, we try harder to crush that talent and force him to be what we want him to be. To be very honest, none of us wants our kids to excel in any field related to art. We always want them to grow up to be a doctor or an engineer or an accountant.

Art is a definite form of expression. Anger, happiness, excitement, disappointment, rejection and what not; they all can be expressed by any form of art. Children face all these at some time or the other when they are introduced to the real world. They get a better way to let out these negative and positive emotions once they know how to do it the creative way. Creativity always helps to keep the mental and at times physical health at a balance. It is medically proved that the kids who are appreciated to create things, no matter how ridiculous, grow up to be more intelligent. Their vision gets broader. They see and achieve what others can’t. They grow up to own a more balanced personality.

Every kid is born with a different temperament. Some kids are hyper active others cool and calm, there are many who are aggressive, some like expressing their feelings other like keeping all it to themselves. We need to figure out how we can make use of their positive and negative energies. Most of them can be helped out through art. Discover what your kid is good at. Encourage him to do what he likes doing. If he wants to take it to the professional level, let him. Getting into the fields like these is tougher when compared to gaining a degree in medicine or accounts, we understand, but not impossible. Don’t be afraid that your kid will lose. Give him all the confidence. If a kid has a passion to do it, he will strive hard to achieve it.

YOU CAN SEE THE SIMILAR POST AT WRITING FOR A CAUSE