Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Don’t give up, Better Live Up

“I don’t care how a guy looks at me or treats me as I have lost my virginity already.” I was forced to look at her face after hearing this sentence and to my disbelief she looked not more than 20 year old. The more shocking about it was her story that how she was sexually harassed rather raped when she was 10. She was raped by her cousin who was in his teens back then, and it was not once. She was threatened to not tell it to anybody in the family. The cousin did it several times and she kept quiet as she knew nobody would believe her.
But then, one day, when she finally gathered courage to refuse him; she was beaten up by him severely. She decided to tell it to her mother, finally. At first, the mother accused her of making up stories but then when she saw the wounds on her body; she believed her. Even the mother was of no help to her. To save the girl from more disgrace in the family, she asked her to stay quiet. Mother only got more skeptical and took no serious action other than restricting her limited liberty. The girl grew up in a more conservative and over protective environment. All this only resulted in shaking up the girl’s personality from inside out.
Now, this was the story of a young girl who moved to a big city from a small village for her education. The bitter experiences of her childhood are affecting her independence badly. She talks to all the random guys she can, dates them and tells them every personal detail they want to know. And the worst part is that she is getting into it despite knowing the consequences.
Parents, after hearing such incidences, should never accuse kids of making up stories. Never trust anybody when it comes to your kids. Anybody and everybody can get down to this level and sexually abuse your child. Parents’ reaction after these incidences leaves an impact on children. Punish the abuser and not the victim. Restrict the mobility of that person abusing your child and not your own child. Ban the entry of such person without thinking about the consequences. Nothing and nobody can be more important than your child’s personality. Give your child full confidence and secure him/her.
What happened to this girl is nothing new. There are many girls around who get sexually harassed on the daily basis. But the way she, or the girls who face the similar situation, is reacting is worse than what has happened to her already. You have to accept it that what happened to you was not your fault. You just can’t give up and present yourself as a sex tool for men now. What happened to you in the past wasn’t your mistake but what you are doing today with your life is entirely a fault of yours. And most of all, what you are doing now is against all your moral, religious and social values. Don’t punish yourself for somebody else’ crimes.
It is hard to move on; but giving up is not a solution. Now that you are getting an opportunity to prove yourself; you need to do it. You just need to prove that you are a woman more capable of doing everything you want. You are more than an entity who can just be used just for one purpose. Look beyond your fears and identify your talents. Don’t ruin yourself over bad memories. Being cynical and giving up won’t give you anything. Just try forgetting the past and come up stronger. If you couldn’t help yourself in your childhood; grow up to be a strong woman capable of helping your future daughter. It’s hard moving on; but that’s the better choice. Don’t consider it the end of your life; take it as a new beginning.



  1. Brilliantly written, Sara!

    And congratulations for the award, just got to know about it through that widget! :)

    Keep up the good work!

  2. This reminds me of one subplot in the movie Monsoon Wedding where the uncle stood up for his niece after knowing that their close family friend has molested her.

    Kids are helpless on their own and to be dismissed by those you least expect to be dismissed by is going to ruin that kid's life. The damage may even be irreversible.

    And so they say, it all begins at home. May Allah ta'ala protect us all from these grim occurrences in our society. Aameen.

    Kudos to your writeup.

  3. Parents are of no help, duh.

    Brilliantly written though.

  4. very bold subject, nicely written ..
    Good work Sara !

  5. I wonder why you take so long to update your blog... especially since almost everything you choose to write on is RELEVANT in our daily life!

    Solid work, again.

  6. Wow. Nicely written. I'm moved. The best line is:

    "It is hard to move on; but giving up is not a solution. Now that you are getting an opportunity to prove yourself; you need to do it."

    I agree with this. Sometimes girls feel used and disgusted but they should move on, have a positive heart and attitude, but also never be used in the first place should have the courage. Good luck for the future Sara :) and congrats on the award!!

  7. wow.... young lady... u write so wellll :)
    n i m soo happy to see such positive attitude :)
    HAts offf :)
    Stay Blessed
    Take care

  8. Brilliant sara ... You always chose to write on topics that other people just avoid to even talk about. And that's general attitude of parents which is worst.

  9. Yet again another sad story of society and I second Shakti, you should update your blog more-often if possible.
    Jazak-al-ALLAH-al-Khair for an eye-opener motivational post and kind contribution to "Writing for a Cause" blog :)
    Be blessed always! [Aameen]

  10. I applaud you for writing about this taboo topic with finesse.

  11. Yes, its another sick face we tend to hide under the carpet as society. Today, I heard a case of sexual harassment from on of my female friend in a call centre of major Telecommunication giant at highest level, which forced her to quite the job.

    High time to bring on all such taboo issues to at-least create awareness.

  12. Well done Sara. You really should write more often. This is what people need to know and talk about. Not ten things I hate about this and that.

  13. Now, that's deep! Strange is the fact that parents do not listen to their kids especially in grave matters like these ones. The lack of bonding between a parent and a child is probably the most unfortunate thing that can ever happen to anyone. Good work Sara! Hits right on the spot! Shabash..:)!

  14. Super Awesome work as always.Each time I read any of ur posts i just realize how ugly we are, carrying such social & emotional scars, yet still busy enjoying our own lives only because we are not directly affected by such matters.Thanks alot for showing us the mirror every now & then.Best of Luck :)

  15. See thats why i ask you to write more often