Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Watch Your Kids…

Parents, the ones who bring children to this world, grow them up; make them identify the fine line between right and wrong, fulfill their demands, keep a check on their needs and provide them what they want. They are the guardians of the little minds. They scold them where they go wrong and bestow their love when they are broken/injured in or out. No matter how old a person gets and what he starts thinking of himself, he can never out grow his parents. He may learn new things, earn more money, see more places than his parents ever did; he still remains a little kid for his parents.

Providing your children a strong roof does not mean you are protecting them. Making them wear woolen outfits in winters can protect them from the harsh weather but won’t save them from the cold behaviors of the world. First five years in a kid’s life are the most significant. The foundation of the child’s personality gets developed then. Mother and father, both should try being present for him in these years.

Charity begins at home; so does guiding or educating your kids. I see a lot of teachers around me, whose children are not taught at home. The children are proudly sent to the tutors. Offspring of the religious people are at times ill mannered. They don’t seem to tell any of the good things to their children what they keep preaching to the world. No offense, you should orate all those things to your own kids first what you keep doing to others.

You never know how your children are treated when they step out of the house. Once the kid enters the house from school, parents are supposed to ask how his day was. How did his teacher treat him? How do his age fellows or older kids treat him? Is he enjoying his days at school or not? Ask him if he is happy or upset. And if your child tells you, a teacher treats him badly or he is being bullied at school or he doesn’t like the school; listen to him. There always is a reason behind your kid being upset. Don’t just ask him straight away; ‘what did YOU do?’ Happens a lot of times that your child is innocent, he gets treated badly in school. Many a times even the child doesn’t understand what the problem is. Talk to him, figure out his problems.

Leaving kids with nannies is in fashion these days. When they grow up they are sent to the tutors or the molvis (Quran teachers). Parents go out partying and leave their kids with housemaids. This really spoils a kid. You never know how an outsider treats your child. We have seen many cases where children get sexually harassed by housemaids. Never trust anybody when it comes to your own children. If you have to send them to the tutors or molvis, keep an eye on them. Don’t leave your child with a stranger. If we think odd behaviors or sexual harassment is inconsequential, we are wrong. They leave a dark spot on the little one’s personality; which never can be washed away.

Change your attitude towards your kids as they grow up. Don’t treat a teenager like a baby or a grown up as a teenager. Your being caring towards them is understandable. As they mature, their way of thinking and living gets different too. Cope up with their changing behaviors if you want to bridge the gap between you and your young ones. Once you nurture them their way, they will grow up to be your way. And I don’t mean you let them do, good or bad, what they do. Tell them what is bad for them and will harm them. Sit with them, talk to them. Give them time. Help them make their choices. Don’t impose your decisions on them.

Being parents a great deal of responsibility falls on your shoulders. Most of us think responsibilities include; putting kids in a good school, feeding them the high quality food full of all vitamins and minerals, getting them the best toys in the market, taking them to the park or malls, giving them all the modern facilities in the world etc. Mother and father; two people who are the most influential ingredients of a person’s life. It is in your hands how you grow your kids up. You never know what your child can do, help him make a difference.



  1. really nice... love it and ppl shud think this way too

  2. Good one! totally agree with what you said!

  3. True.

    I guess we have created a world where both the parents and the kids are learning to perform their roles. Part of evolution, i guess.

  4. Really a nice piece of writing with a nice message for me also. May ALLAH help the parents to feel what they are made feel in this beautiful piece of writing.
    Go on writing. Think before writing and do have a deep study on the subject before penning down your thoughts. Abbi, yes father of the writer

  5. wow sara nice and mature, ab tu mujhy shaq parh raha hay tum kisi sy likhwati ho blog :P

    great one i am gonna recommend this read to my friends.

  6. Being a parent is a great responsibility and surely people should know beforehand what they are signing up for.

  7. ur wud-be kids are really blessed to have such sensible & intelligent mother.. :P

    jokes apart, there is a movie called "taare zameen par". check it out sometime. the movie is based on a similar theme only.. I am sure, u'll like it.

    Last but not the least, It's a raw & nice post. :)

  8. zaberdast. Keep up the gud work jani.

  9. I know that you have too many headless followers to praise and misguide you I save my wow ,wonderful and nice for the end...and lets get into the conference room without wasting anytime.... are well aware of the fact that our prophet muhammad(pbuh)was born after the death of his father....and jesus was not sure till he was crucified about his father...
    what I am getting at is that there is nothing in the shariah law that guarantees a parenthood for a kid.
    2.I recently watched a very nice movie "the secret Garden" its about the father of a presumed crippled boy whose mother died so the father stopped seeing him but he provided the best care possible for him ill fated girl(niece) of his sister in law came under his care who had quite remarkable resemblance to his dearly beloved wife....and the wits of an angel.....she changed everything between this father and son.....don't want to give you the spoiler watch if you are interested.

    under the conditions of normal pressures and stresses there are few things that hinders in being a very responsible parent of your kids even if you are a loving ,caring human being and a socially admired lady or a gentlemen.
    Research those hindrances and you will know how painful it is to be a responsible parent...most of the times.

    3. Since reading your blog it seem you are only taking about responsibilities of a no choice parents in a so called nuclear have got to stratify the domain.....a kid after puberty is not the responsibly of a parent here in this case....which in a different set-up like the shaikh raseed saab's farm could be life long to the superannuation of the parents.
    (yaar coffee nahein toh samosa hee ajata ab tak...I hate this building..)

    4.In the final para of your detailed blog post you write and I quote... " Mother and father; two people who are the most influential ingredients of a person’s life. It is in your hands how you grow your kids up. You never know what your child can do, help him make a difference." ...very interesting thought....most responsible parents I observe(stalk) will be successful in making an export quality woolmark product from a sheep's wool....if that's what you the difference....nothing more...


    Btw,why did you change the was really nice and warm....this one is very depressing makes you feel like drowning or falling as you scroll down....صرف ہاتھ سے طوطے ہی او۔۔۔یا اور کچھ بھی ....

  10. till now i was just thanking about my #DearFutureWife but now your blog forced me to also think about my #DearFutureKids :D

    Really Really nice blog and you got 10 our of 10

  11. Kudos to you on highlighting an important aspect which is missing now a day more often as before in past. Parents have get themselves busy in providing materialistic lifestyle to their children rather than stick to the basics and provide needful attention to make him count in both worlds.

    I would really appreciate if you re-post it on ‘Writing for a Cause’ blog [hosted by my sister] also by joining author force :-) [ ] Blog also can reach via Facebook Page [ ]

    Stay Blessed Always! [Ameen]

  12. w0w firstly u are such an awesome writer MashaAllah=) secondly this is so true, so many of us can kinda relate to it.. n then i dont have any children already n not having any any time soon:p so im saving this for future use if it survives till then:P

  13. thanx alott everybody for liking the post..special thanx to abbi for the kind comment =D
    @wasiq dont take me wrong..i did NOT criticize the parents..i just advised them according to my understanding of the era we living in.
    @wasif thanx..i did it =)

  14. Hmm, Nice post. i really confused what should i write in the comment :S
    But its good :)

  15. Very well written! I have nothing to add further because I totally agree with you! :)

  16. This was awesome! Coming from a young 20 something I suppose? You are going to be one awesome parent someday Sara! :)

  17. vry nice yaar. i do agree wid u bcz its my own experienc n observation dat ppl try to exploit childrn whn thy see thm alone n esp whn they feel tht their parnts r nt gong 2 hav a luk on all dis. i realy appreciate ur step n i beg all da parnts 2 take care of their children n esp grlz plzz dnt alow ur daughtrs to stay at some relativ's place no matr how close ur relation is, dnt let thm go 2 mrkt alone n plzz keep an eye on their frnds n activities to keep thm safe n secure.

  18. please please....please DM me what abbi said...I wants to know...its important....please.
    on innernet when you use capital means you are shouting....tomorrow is a working day here....;-p
    now this is a really really really cool blog template design and background...thanks.

  19. lol ! iam sorry something come up ...lets have a rain-check for tomorrow...bye !

  20. Very well said sara :) I dont think my words could justify ur awesome efforts!
    Looking forward to the same awesome stuff being updated soon :).

  21. You have touched a very important topic.. A very well thought out article.. Parents need to be very careful nowadays.

  22. These days most people don't even know the reason for their own creation, let alone sharing the same with their offspring.

    Though very well written :)

  23. Alright, so I am totally impressed! before I continue with my view, may I please know what motivated you? (A)

    I do, completely, agree that parents need to teach their kids not only raise them up. There is a think difference between educating them and making sure they are literate. Teachers, however, do play a major role in educating their kids - but, parents shouldn't just think that sending their offsprings to school/college brings an end to their responsibility. Etiquettes are taught at home...parents have to constantly groom their children.

    I think I'll let my high school students write a response to you :P

    well done :) I truly am impressed!

  24. thankyou so much...wt motivated me?...hmmm...all sort of parents mentioned above and some more i guess =P

  25. "Leaving kids with nannies is in fashion these days.
    Prophet Muhammad SAWS was also raised by a nanny

  26. should i call it: Dil ki Bahras :)

  27. @eskay she cnt be called be a nanny, she was his foster mother...he ws a prophet..we cant be compared to him, things have changed now...we all know how nannies treat u think kids should be left with them??
    @saad nt based on my personal experience only

  28. Becoming a parent is like getting on a complete rollercoaster ride.Sometimes, it's fun and sometimes you get all spinned around in circles.It's good to be a friend of your kids rather than just a parent especially in a world of today.All in all, it's a very sensitive yet a very neglected topic.Nice work Sara..:)!