Saturday, November 27, 2010

When I Am Gone…

We all know, death is the ultimate reality of life and we all have to die one day. Its quite an obvious thing that as we grow older we start hugging this reality more and not only this, we keep talking about it too. That’s not an obvious thing that my parents will die before me. Ofcourse, I can die before them, but they just won’t stop talking about it.

When I think about my funeral, the only thing I see is; everybody crying around me, I feel that those who never talked to me or never loved me will start missing me the day I die. Everybody will say ‘wahh.. Kiaaa bandi thi’. They all will praise me… they will understand me; will get what I always wanted to do and what was in my mind. For no good reason I presume that my enemies will cry on my death too. I only think about the good things about it.

With no offense I think, to some extent, same is what all the elderly people think when they talk about death and all. When parents talk about their death to kids, they think that their kids will realize how much they loved their kids. They want their children to realize what efforts they put in to make them what they are. Same is the case with other older people. They think the world will recognize them, if not the world, atleast their near and dear ones will know who they actually were.

If we think of it, it’s right too. If somebody dies, we only mention the positive things standing there. Nobody brings up how bad the person was. But the fact is, nobody is remembered after that. Everybody moves on. They do miss the people who go away, but that’s just temporary. I remember that I cried a lot on my grandparents’ death. I missed them too. But the truth is that was just for some time. When we get back to work, that ‘missing’ part fades away. And we all move on.

It gets really disturbing when you are reminded of it again and again that somebody near and dear to you is about to die. Everything is close to death to some elderly people. If somebody in the family dies of anything, they start thinking about it, that person had this I may have it too. If they get a cough they take it to lung failure, or if some part of their body aches, they become serious patients of something BIG. If the left side of their chest aches, it HAS to be a heart attack. Gets to be the gastric problem after a detailed checkup

They all go away and we miss them for some time, but the good things they did are always mentioned. So, the question is, isn’t it better that instead of talking about death non-stop, when we get older, we stop it and live our life fully? Doing good to others, so that they remember you. I don’t demand that everybody should stop thinking about the fact that we all will die; I just say that, just stop talking about it or maybe stop waiting for it. It will come one day and we all will die, no matter young or old. Just live your life, do whatever you can, contribute to the betterment of the world, society and the family. Stop thinking about ‘what will happen when I am gone?’..we all will die and this world will be what it was before our birth, with some obvious changes ofcourse.


  1. Very well-written!

    "Just live your life, do whatever you can, contribute to the betterment of the world, society and the family. Stop thinking about ‘what will happen when I am gone?’"

    I agree with these lines a hundred and one percent.

  2. well this world is a prisoner for the believer and a paradise for the disbeliever. In fact, thinking often about one's death is the key to having a strong imaan. You should always think about death you knw so that u increase in Khushu in ur Salah and all ur acts in ur life as a muslim. That's what i think :) People may disagree

  3. @tazeen thanx =)
    @faizan i didint say we hv to forget it...wt i mean to say it stop threatening ur kids by saying we r about to die...just stay happy n do wtever u can for the world and the scoiety..STOP WAITING FOR UOR DEATH...thats it!!

  4. Saraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, yes, we will miss you! :))

    I remember writing a similar blog piece long time back and also being under an avalanche of depression. Hope you are doing better! *disappears* :P

  5. well about the part not threatening your kids, i agree to that.

  6. Very well written piece, Sara. I didn't know you could write proper English lol. I agree with what you write. I may be old but I don't think about death that much. We don't know when it's going to happen, so all we can do is keep going and do our best. I hope a few people will miss me when I'm gone.

  7. Death is inevitable...I agree with you! Well written girl!

  8. Parents emotionally blackmail us by talking about their death :-P
    "hum mar jaein ge to yaad karo ge"

    every one has its own place, which remains there even after his death...its only because we have so many other things and relation around us to take care of that we apparently forget them, but they do remains in our heart.

    Daym abaad rahay gi ye dunya
    Hum na honge koi hum sa hoga

  9. nt dying and um nt depressed...KIAA HO GYA HAI :O =P...??
    @joanna lol...reallyy =P??thanxx =)...n thts one good approach...dun jst sit n wait for blv in it..tht it sure will happen one day =).
    @sana thanxx =)
    @anonymous sooo true...agreed =)

  10. I visit the graveyard every week...I'd love to attend your funeral...just make sure its on the would be a hell lot easier for me...thanks.
    Give my best regards to your parents and all living know what recently before donating the blood this blood bank manager asked me if I have this this and that disease...filling the form....that was the day and moment I can never ever forget in my life....I replied in negative to all....and it was the biggest truth of my life....yet I have observed that while crossing tariq road on foot I prefer to wait and never cross in front of a motorbike with lady or a child on it....ignoring the fact that my food in the shopper could get cold if I stayed too long...and on reaching home I thankGod that I lived another day to enjoy this meal...If I had died the day earlier I would have surely missed this one...What a waste...!!!!
    Anyways its a very nice blog of yours...but don't thank me for dropping by.. thank our dear friend Joanna who dragged me here in chains...and a crossbow on me

    @joanna thanks yes she is very good now..i am so proud of her as a friend...I do hope she does not see my

  11. @Wasiq I didn't drag you here in chains lol - you asked to read Sara's blog. I was driven down Tariq Road a few times but never tried to cross it on foot, I agree that could be dangerous.
    Who attends our funeral depends on where in the world we are when we die. But we can all be together in our hearts, that's the great thing. Love you all!

  12. "Just live your life, do whatever you can, contribute to the betterment of the world, society and the family. Stop thinking about ‘what will happen when I am gone?’" -- WORD :)

  13. @wasiq .....wtever it is..death is the ultimate reality and sure will happen..
    ...thanx...thanx to joanna blog is open to all...anybody n everybody can come n comment on it...thanx for the comment too =P..thanx btw =)
    @joanna u r right...we cnt say who ll b there n who wont be
    @salman thanxxx =)

  14. Ahhhh you changed your mind last night....that's so sweet...I went straight to bed after reading your deleted comment ;-p hoping to get up early to receive those fancy invite cards with pop-up devils
    well I am not very sure about the ultimate reality but even if I die first before wont get a dime out of my chill !
    and please its wasiq1 for you now....;-p

  15. honestly speaking, i m scared of this "death" thing seriously, but what ever u have written i agreew wid u 110% especially the "Just live your life, do whatever you can, contribute to the betterment of the world, society and the family. Stop thinking about ‘what will happen when I am gone?’" part.
    nice post sara :)

  16. Very well written piece, Sara totally agree with you!!! awesome piece really!!

  17. thanx sheza sundus and faislu (didnt get ur name =P)
    @wasiqONE WHAT do i say to it now...thanx for ur kind comments =)

  18. Good article with positive thought by an "uneducated inexperienced girl" =P

    *thumbs up*

  19. you don't have to announce it on twitter... You can reply directly! =P

  20. @anonymous thanxxxx whoever u are =)

  21. now you became a serious blogger.... very well written blog.

    i have attend some funeral in which peoples are not crying even the family members and in-fact they are happy and smiling and at that time i pray to Allah "i don't wanted to be the one"

    If you want to feel that those who never talked to you or never loved you will start missing you & everybody will say ‘wahh.. Kiaaa bandi thi’. They all will praise you… they will understand you; will get what you always wanted to do and what was in your mind. you don't need to imagine you in death body ..... you can imagine you in bridal dress leaving your parents's house, even your brother (you hate most) will cry :P

  22. meri mano toh show your hands to shaikh rassed saab goalmandi waley...only he is an expert of reading annoynimous
    will there be another post about the post-tejaa living or issi pey guzzara karna ho ga...??? ;-p
    nice blog

  23. @shahid still hv to write abt MARRIAGE...this ws abt dun talk abt tht...and i dun hate my bro the most..WHO SAYS
    @wasiqONE um okie if anybdy wants to write in anonymously...dun need sheikh rasheed's help =)..will write more whn smthing worth writing wil come in my mind...thanx again =)

  24. don't say are of so many minds I bet you can write at least three blogs each night better than the one above....ever since I have known you...I honestly admire your candid opinion on many subjects of mutual would be very interesting to read those opinions in a blog format....again and again....please don't be shy to express yourself you have a flair for writing and a very good command on multiple languages...which broadens your remember my tips :blog when you are when you love it and blog when you are confused....don't waste your time on education,twitter and stay away from the kitchen like its a no-go area for you...or a nuclear waste dump !lol
    BTW,shaikh raseed saab goalmandi waley was very disappointed and heartbroken to read this...please don't make him feel sad and help-less...or else only God knows what he might
    thanks for saying thanks thanks thanks so many times.;-p

  25. @wasiq thanx for ur worthy time u read smthing on my blog..know it i ws sad or ws in love or ws confused etc =)..PLEASE dun start a convo here..follow me on twitter if u want to...

  26. Death is just a new beginning.Having the experience of seeing the death of a loved one right infront of my eyes has made me a much better person.Hold onto life before death creeps up on us.Sara, wonderful post written!!.

  27. I dunno why I frequently dream about my death...
    Each night it comes from different dimension..
    But sara really life is a 'holy shit' before death....

  28. many ppl die smiling neeha...try doing things which satisfy u n keep urslf n others around u happy...u ll feel better =)

  29. i must say that is is a well written piece but on the same time i must say that i disagree with it :)