Pretty dresses, mehandi, jewelry, invitation cards, houses lit in and out and decorated with different kinds of flowers. Yes! You guessed it right. The wedding season is on. We see many people getting happily married around us these days. The above mentioned things and more are apparently the most important components of a wedding.
It all starts with the selection of the perfect spouse. The society we live in, it’s mostly that the parents select the ‘better half’ for their kids. Even if a girl or a boy chooses himself/herself the perfect spouse, they still mostly have to go for their parents’ consent. The selection process is totally different for both genders. While selecting the perfect partner, parents and the kids themselves generally do not look at the personality or the character, but go for the evident material things.
Media or the occasional real life stories have made both the genders so bitter against each other and the in laws that they can hardly expect any good from each other. Guys always think, before or after the marriage that his in laws are against his family and him. He always has it in his mind that the bride and her family are conspiring against him in some way or the other. Most of the guys think women marry for money and will remain married till the guy has it. But the fact is most of the women in our society marry men with nothing, help them gain something and remain with them till they have everything.
It’s not just the guys that have this misconception about the girls or their families; it’s the girls too. The daily soaps are very much penetrating in our daily lives and are poisoning them in many ways. The girls before marriage at times have this in mind built in that her in laws are or will be against her. They don’t like her and will make every effort to separate her from her husband. If we think of it logically, why will they when they themselves selected her (in most cases) and made her their daughter in law? It’s quite understandable that it’s tougher for a girl to adjust in when compared to the guy, but thinking like that makes it tougher for her. If she takes her mother/father in law as her mother/father and sisters/ brothers in law as her own siblings, it’s her who will be the most comfortable in the situation. Helping in daily chores or doing all of it themselves is not that difficult. We see it many times that the girls do a lot more in their own houses but complain about doing it when living with their in-laws.
We all mostly expect it from the girl that she should be the one compromising in all situations. If she has to take her in laws as her own family, she should be given the love and respect she deserves living in her own family. It is rationally impossible for anybody to accept strangers like that without them being kind to her. The guy’s family should accept the girl as their own family member. We mostly see a war like situation between the wife and the mother of men. I again call it a star plus effect. The mother should realize that she brought her son somebody who left everything for him should be given proper space. Same has to be understood by the girl, mother is the one who brought the guy up and they both can’t be should not be split apart. Many times its men to be blamed for it. They are the ones who lose the balance which causes a conflict.
The girl does not have to go and tell everything to her family. She should own the family she gets married in to. Their disrespect should be a disgrace for her too. It happens that the girls take every matter to her parents; unnecessary interference of the girls’ family in the issues causes many problems. Woman should be able to handle little issues themselves without asking their mothers for a suitable situation. But of course, if it really is unbearable for the girl to stay there, if she is treated badly or abused etc., she should never stay quiet about it.
Marriage is the most significant institution in a person’s life. It’s on the marriage’s base that the new relationships are built. Respect for everybody involved is the key point to its success. Accept everybody whole heartedly. Look beyond material things. Don’t just prepare yourself for the wedding, do it for the marriage. Wedding lasts for a day or two, marriage goes on for forever (in most cases). Why not make it a happy and content one?
YOU CAN GET THIS POST ON WRITING FOR A CAUSE TOO.